How to Make Friends as an Adult

New in town? Friends move away? Newly married or newly divorced? Not meeting people at work? To me, people whose advice to others to extend their social circle is to meet people through work or common interests…must be lucky. It didn’t always work for me (I’m not super outgoing). Everything has always taken me a little extra time and effort, but it’s all paid off in the end! With adequate time and effort, it is never too late for anyone to form healthy friendships. Especially not now—it’s an integral part of your healing journey.

I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up or in high school as I was painfully shy and (raised in a very pretentious area). Luckily, the less judgmental, varied crowd (+ liquid courage) faired me well and for the first time I had a thriving social life. However, graduating college led me back home to the land of the lonely. Bored, I turned to the ever-wise advice of Google and decided I was desperate enough to try Craigslist to meet people. Turns out, the idea wasn’t as crazy as I’d thought! (Although since then people have been using a more modern version of that – apps like Bumble BFF)

After being home, then moving to a new state where I knew no one, I’ve learned a variety of tricks for meeting people. Whether you are looking for new friends whose interests and lifestyles align better with yours, a coffee date, an exercise buddy, or a lifelong bff—I would love to share these tips with you!

Here are my top suggestions for meeting people:

1. At Work

   I’m not the biggest fan of meeting friends at work, because I believe from a professional stand-point, work and personal lives are best kept separate. However, if you have co-workers who are similar in age or lifestyles, invite them out for a drink and see how it goes! Just make sure it does not affect your career or other work relationships.

2. Common Hobbies/Interests/Beliefs

   Join a gym and take some classes/join a sports league. Take some classes of interest at your local community college, craft store, health food store, etc. Join a book club. Join a church group or volunteer locally.

3. Networking Events

   Attend local professional networking groups. These can be found through google searches, Facebook groups, Linkedin, or Meetup.com. Depending on which ones you to go, there are usually some that are more casual and activity-based.

4. Support Groups

   Have an addiction? Or just plain lonely? Support groups can range anywhere from fighting addiction, to battling loneliness, to dealing with health issues. Sometimes the support you find in members of these may be exactly what you needed.

5. Bars and/or Coffee Shops –

   For those extraverts, visit a smaller local bar or coffee shot. Get a drink and strike up a conversation with those next to you!

6. Through Others

   Don’t be afraid to ask acquaintances and/or other friends for help meeting people. I’ve explained to my friends that I adore them but sometimes feel like a freak with my dietary needs…And they have gone out of their way to introduce me to some cool vegetarians and/or gluten-free people.

7. Social Media & Online Networking

   Strike up a conversation while browsing an online forum, Facebook or Instagram, or reading an interesting blog or website. After conversing a few times, invite an online acquaintance for coffee. What do you have to lose?

8. Friend Making Websites –

   While you should definitely be careful (and always meet in a public place), meeting people online is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I’ve met more assholes/bad people in-person than I have online. Although I’m sure there are other options, the most-used free website seems to be Girlfriend Social.

9. Friend Making Apps & Other Recent Online Developments –

   I’ve known people to make friends of the opposite sex on the infamous Tinder. However, more recently a similar app “Bumble” opened up a special setting called “Bumble BFF” which allows you to swipe left or right to match with new friends.

10. Meetup.com

    Meetup is my top recommended way to meet people. You avoid the awkwardness of going to a bar alone and the dangers of meeting online. However, you can still find people specifically interested in the same interests, lifestyles, or activities you are looking for. If you haven’t heard of it before, Meetup is basically a database of groups in your area that host activities for meeting others. Sign up for a group that’s of interest to you (for example, I’m signed up to: young professional woman groups, tennis groups, holistic health groups, puppy groups). Then attend the events that look like fun and work with your schedule!

Just remember, when making friends do whatever is the most comfortable to you and don’t get discouraged. Making friends is just like finding a job, mate, place to live, or anything else in life; you have to go through the wrong fits before you find the right ones!

Here’s to a little less loneliness and regaining our sparkle together,

✧❈✯✦Jenn✦✯❈✧